Real Talk #13 - Healing Without Humor Is Just Suffering with a Plan

 

Here’s your permission slip to stop taking healing so damn seriously.

If you’re deep in the shadow work, trauma integration, inner child therapy rabbit hole and you haven’t laughed in a week it’s time to come up for air.

Healing without humor? That’s just glorified suffering.

The truth is, being able to laugh at your own patterns, mishaps, and spirals is *part* of healing. It means you’ve got perspective. It means you’re not drowning in it anymore.

You can cry in one breath and snort-laugh in the next. That’s balance. That’s resilience.

You’re not disrespecting your pain by laughing. You’re reminding yourself that you’re still here. Still human. Still capable of joy.

Healing is hard. Humor helps.

If you enjoyed this series or any posts on the Blackbird Diaries blog, feel free to share with others. And you can message me with questions or leave a comment here. And if you are interested in doing some deeper work, reach out. You can find me at raven@eldertreecoaching.com and we'll discuss sessions or a program that works for you. If you have a topic you'd like to see covered in the blog and/or podcast, drop a note to raven@blackbirddiaries.com. 

Wishing you all the best, and a raucous sense of humor for when things go pear-shaped. You got this.

Raven

Real Talk #12 - The Shadow Isn’t Evil—It’s Unacknowledged Power

 

Let’s end the drama around shadow work (one of my favorite topics).

Your shadow isn’t evil. It’s not a monster in the basement. It’s not your “dark side.” It’s your unacknowledged power, pain, and pattern. It’s the stuff you were taught to reject so you buried it.

And guess what? It’s still running the show.

Your shadow isn’t trying to hurt you. It’s trying to protect you with outdated strategies. Shame, control, people-pleasing, rage; all of it started as protection. The shadow is your inner survivor.

But what helped you survive might now be keeping you stuck.

Shadow work isn’t exorcism. It’s integration. It’s calling all your parts back from exile and saying, “You don’t have to scream to be heard anymore.”

That’s not evil. That’s healing.

Real Talk #11 - Manifestation Isn’t About Control—It’s About Alignment

 

Let’s have a real talk moment with manifestation.

It’s not a control mechanism. It’s not a shopping list you send to the Universe. It’s not spiritual Amazon Prime.

Manifestation is about alignment—who you are being, what you believe, and whether your choices match the reality you say you want.

You can’t manifest peace while feeding chaos. You can’t manifest love while abandoning yourself. You can’t manifest abundance from scarcity-driven decisions.

The Universe isn’t withholding. You’re misaligning.

Instead of asking “Why hasn’t it happened yet?” try asking “Where am I still operating from fear instead of trust?”

You don’t control outcomes—you align with truth. That’s the difference between force and flow.

Real Talk #10 - You Don’t Have to Be the Bigger Person—You Just Have to Be the Boundaried One

 

Ok, I'm going to mention Boundaries again. Because it warrants a revisit.

“Be the bigger person” is often code for “tolerate more than you should.”

Let’s retire that.

You don’t have to out-kind someone who disrespected you. You don’t have to prove your emotional maturity by staying silent. You don’t need to perform peace.

You just need boundaries.

Being the boundaried person means: I can care about myself enough to walk away. I can protect my peace without justifying it. I can speak the truth even if it makes you uncomfortable.

That’s power. That’s presence. That’s healing.

You’re not here to be a martyr. You’re here to be real.

Real Talk #9 - Healing Isn’t Linear, but It Still Requires Direction

 

Healing isn’t a straight line. We all know that.

But just because it’s not linear doesn’t mean it’s random.

If you’re bouncing between the same wounds without intention, that’s not healing. That’s looping.

Healing requires direction. Not control. Not perfection. Direction.

It asks: What are you working on right now? What’s the next layer? How will you know when to pause, pivot, or dig deeper?

It’s okay to spiral. But spiral upward. Spiral with purpose.

Healing can be messy. But it still needs movement.

Otherwise, you’re just busy with your pain—not growing from it.

Real Talk #8 - You’re Not Blocked—You’re Avoiding Something

 

Let’s stop calling everything a “block.”

You’re not blocked. You’re avoiding something. And that something is probably discomfort, truth, or change.

Blocks don’t just show up. They form when we keep dodging the thing we don’t want to look at. The hard conversation. The painful truth. The decision we don’t want to make.

The more you avoid, the heavier it gets. Not because you’re cursed or broken, but because avoidance creates stuckness.

You’re not broken. You’re scared. You’re unsure. And maybe you’re exhausted.

That’s not a block. That’s a cue to get real.

Want to move the “block”? Stop running. Turn around and face what you’ve been avoiding.

That’s the real unlock.

Real Talk #7 - Spiritual Tools Aren’t Fixes—They’re Mirrors

 

Stop trying to use tarot like it’s a vending machine for answers. Stop expecting your astrology chart to give you permission to exist. These tools? They’re not here to fix you. They’re here to show you who you already are.

Spiritual tools are mirrors. They reflect your patterns, your blind spots, your tendencies and sometimes your brilliance. But they don’t do the work for you.

Reading cards, pulling runes, consulting your guides… it’s not about outsourcing. It’s about insight. If you’re using your tools to avoid making decisions, that’s not sacred. That’s stuck.

You can’t journal your way out of accountability. You can’t sage your way out of self-awareness.

The power isn’t in the tool. It’s in how you use it and whether you’re willing to listen when it reflects something uncomfortable.

Use your tools. Just don’t worship them. Let them show you what needs attention. Then go do the damn work.