Friday, July 11, 2025

Shadow Work Series #7 - Is It a Trigger—Or Are You Just Avoiding Growth?

 


Let’s talk about a spiritual buzzword that’s been abused into uselessness: “triggered.”

Yes, triggers are real. Yes, they matter. But not every uncomfortable feeling is a trauma response. And not every hard truth is a personal attack.

Sometimes it’s not trauma. Sometimes it’s your shadow flaring up because you’re standing too close to the growth you’ve been avoiding.

“A trigger is a wound being touched. Avoidance is a choice to stay wounded.”

Shadow work requires you to get honest about what’s actually unsafe and what just feels unfamiliar. If you label every confrontation, correction, or call-out as “harmful,” you cut yourself off from transformation.

How to Tell the Difference:
- A **trigger** pulls you into the past. You feel flooded, reactive, or dissociated.
- **Avoidance** happens when your ego hijacks discomfort to protect your comfort zone.
- A trigger makes you feel unsafe. Avoidance makes you feel inconvenienced.

Your nervous system knows the difference, but only if you’re willing to listen instead of react.

Common Avoidance Phrases in Disguise:
- “This doesn’t resonate with me” (but it actually poked something real)
- “I’m protecting my peace” (by ghosting accountability)
- “This feels toxic” (translation: “This made me uncomfortable”)

There’s nothing wrong with boundaries. But when your boundaries are just fear in a prettier outfit, they’re not helping you grow, they’re helping you hide.

Try This:
- When something sets you off, pause and breathe. Ask: “Is this touching a wound or is this stretching me?”
- Journal about a time you claimed something was “too much”, was it too much, or just too real?
- Talk to a grounded friend or therapist when you’re unsure. Mirrors help.

Your triggers deserve care. Your growth deserves challenge. And your healing requires you to tell the truth even (especially) when that truth is, “I’ve been dodging this.”

Coming next: **Reparenting Isn’t Coddling—What Inner Child Work Really Means**


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