“Love and light” might be the
most overused phrase in modern spirituality and sometimes, the most misleading.
Yes, love and light have their
place. Yes, positivity is powerful. But when those words are used to shut down,
silence, or shame real emotion and lived experience, we’re no longer in the
realm of spiritual growth. We’re deep in the territory of spiritual bypassing.
Let’s call it what it is:
weaponized positivity. Many refer to it as Toxic Positivity. They aren’t wrong.
And it’s everywhere.
Have you ever opened up to
someone about pain or anger, only to be told to “just raise your vibration”?
Have you ever been struggling and heard someone say, “You’re attracting this
experience”? That isn’t compassion. That’s dismissal dressed up as enlightenment.
True spiritual growth doesn’t
ignore pain; it holds it gently. It doesn’t shame you for your anger, it asks
what it’s trying to protect. And it definitely doesn’t use spiritual buzzwords
to avoid uncomfortable truths.
This is where discernment comes
in.
Ask yourself:
- Are these words creating space for truth, or are they shutting it down?
- Is this about building connection, or enforcing compliance?
- Does this person walk their talk, or hide behind it?
Discernment doesn’t mean you’re
cynical. It means you know the difference between a safe space and a silencing
one. It means you can spot the difference between genuine support and
manipulative softness.
Let’s break this down further.
The Language of Bypassing
Some phrases sound spiritual
but are deeply harmful when used in the wrong context:
- “You’re too negative” = I don’t want to hold space for your real emotions.
- “Just raise your vibration” = I’d rather you be quiet than authentic.
- “You’re attracting this” = It’s your fault for feeling bad.
These statements don’t
encourage healing. They’re not tough love. They cause you to question your
reality. They make you feel like being human—complex, emotional, messy—is a
flaw. That’s not spiritual growth. That’s spiritual gaslighting.
What Real Love and Light
Look Like
Love is not always soft.
Sometimes love is fierce. Sometimes it says, “This isn’t okay.” Sometimes it
makes space for grief, rage, and shadow. Light doesn’t mean everything’s
pleasant, it means everything is seen.
Real spiritual maturity honors
the full human experience. It holds anger and joy. It welcomes grief and
laughter. It doesn’t rush to fix you, it stays present with you.
You’ll know you’re in the
presence of real love when:
- You’re not pressured to be okay.
- You’re allowed to feel, without being corrected.
- Your truth is welcomed, even when it’s hard.
Why Discernment Matters
The spiritual world is full of
glittery distractions. Beautiful words. Calming aesthetics. But that doesn’t
mean safety. That doesn’t mean depth.
When people use “non-judgment”
as a way to silence critique or “love and light” to bypass discomfort, that’s a
red flag.
Discernment helps you stay
grounded in what’s real. It says:
- “I’m not being negative, I’m being honest.”
- “I don’t have to stay silent to be spiritual.”
- “I can love deeply and still say no.”
Journal Prompts for
Reflection
To deepen your clarity, ask
yourself:
- When have I felt silenced by someone’s positivity?
- Where have I bypassed my own truth in the name of “being spiritual”?
- What does mature, grounded love feel like in my body?
In Closing
You’re allowed to be skeptical
of feel-good language that doesn’t make room for your full humanity. You’re
allowed to want more than pastel positivity and curated connection. You deserve
depth, honesty, and spaces where you’re not just seen, but allowed to be.
Discernment cuts through the
glitter. It gets to the truth. And the truth will always make room for all of
you.
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