Shadow Work Series #9 - When Your Shadow Sabotages Everything Good—Overcoming Self-Sabotage

 

Let’s cut to the chase: your shadow will sabotage your progress if it believes success isn’t safe. Boy, do I know this one well.

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not incapable. You’re afraid and your shadow is trying to protect you the only way it knows how: by pulling the emergency brake every time things start going well.

“Self-sabotage is your shadow’s love language. It’s a messed-up form of self-protection.”

Most of the time, self-sabotage isn’t a conscious choice. It’s a reflex. It’s the quiet part of you that still believes:
- Good things don’t last
- Success makes you a target
- If you shine, you’ll be abandoned
- You don’t deserve ease or joy

And until you bring that shadow belief into the light, you’ll keep burning down the things you say you want.

Common Forms of Self-Sabotage:
- Procrastinating until the opportunity passes
- Picking fights when things are going well
- Undercharging or undervaluing your work
- Ghosting your goals the minute they get real

The shadow doesn’t want you to suffer, it wants you to *survive.* But it’s working off an outdated script, and it needs you to rewrite it.

This Isn’t About Forcing Yourself to Perform
Self-sabotage doesn’t heal through pressure. It heals through compassion and clarity. You don’t just push harder. You pause. You listen. You ask: *What part of me thinks this is dangerous?*

Then you show that part you’ve got new tools now.

Try This:
- List 3 things you’ve been avoiding and write down the fear underneath
- When you catch yourself sabotaging, say: “This is a protection reflex, not a failure”
- Visualize your shadow self and ask it: “What are you afraid will happen if I succeed?”

Shadow work gives your inner saboteur a new role. Not as your jailer but as your informant. Every time it acts out, it’s pointing to a part of you that’s still stuck in survival mode.

You’re not here to dim your light to feel safe. You’re here to build safety strong enough to hold your light.

Last, but not least, remember that this takes time, repetition and consistency. Show yourself the Compassion you show others. Even more, actually. When you find the work to be two steps forward and one step back, put on some good music and dance. You got this.

And that’s the work.

Thank you for reading this far.  If any part of this series resonates with you, feel free to share and leave a comment.  I would love to hear your thoughts, your stories and your questions.

Cheers,

Raven