Monday, August 11, 2025

Reclaiming Your Intuition – # 3: Unlearning Fear


 

Fear is a skilled impersonator of intuition. It knows how to mimic the urgency of a gut feeling, and it often convinces us to shrink back from opportunities or people who could actually be safe and supportive.

When you’ve been hurt, your body learns to associate certain sensations, expressions, or environments with danger. This is protective, but it’s also limiting. To reclaim your intuition, you have to unlearn some of that fear.

The Difference Between Caution and Constriction
Healthy caution comes from a grounded awareness of reality. Fear-based constriction is rooted in the past. The challenge is that both can feel intense. One closes you down to keep you safe in a real threat. The other keeps you closed long after the threat is gone.

Asking the Right Questions
Unlearning fear starts with curiosity:
- Is there actual evidence of danger here, or am I feeling this because of what happened before?
- If someone else described my situation, would I see danger or possibility?
- What does my body feel like when I am truly safe?

Tools for Separating Fear from Intuition
Grounding practices can help separate fear from intuition. Breathing deeply, placing your feet firmly on the floor, or scanning your environment for signs of safety can help your body recognize when it’s okay to stand down. Journaling can also reveal patterns, you might see that certain “warnings” always happen in similar, non-threatening contexts.

A Real Example
I once accepted a collaboration even though something felt “off” about it. Weeks later, I realized the “off” feeling was triggered by the person’s confident communication style, something I associated with a confidence in them but was lacking in me. My unexamined fear of not being able to make it on my own made me jump at the chance.  Later I would learn that they had a “fake it ‘til you make it” philosophy, hoping to ride my hard work and credibility, so I respectfully stepped away. I learned to see myself in a better light and they learned to do their own work.

Why This Matters
The goal isn’t to eliminate fear, fear is natural and sometimes helpful. The goal is to stop letting fear be the only voice you listen to. When fear quiets, intuition has space to speak.

Reclaiming your intuition means allowing both safety and possibility to coexist. It’s not about forcing yourself into unsafe situations. It’s about knowing when your inner “no” comes from wisdom, and when it comes from a wound.

**Journal Prompts:**
- What fears show up most often when I try to trust myself?
- What helps me tell the difference between fear and intuition?
- How can I soothe my body so I can hear my intuition more clearly?


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